Relationship Goal Setting
Setting goals is really a natural part of any intimate relationship. After the thrill of falling in love has past, you both start asking yourselves the important questions. Where do I want this relationship to lead to? Do we share the same values and beliefs? What about marriage and children? Are we on the same page when it comes to work and finances?
The problem with this type of goal setting is that it doesn’t include the other person in the relationship. Most couples never take the time to share their relationship goals with each other. They allow the relationship to flow naturally, and while this is not necessarily a bad thing, it is important for you both to be clear about where you want your relationship to go.
Even though no one can predict the future, setting a few expectations and goals in your relationship give it a pretty good chance for survival over the long haul. Being clear about what each of you wants builds the trust and understanding that makes relationships satisfying. This goal setting has to be a two-way street where each partner shares what their wants and needs are.
Of course, you cannot share your needs and wants unless you have figured out what they are first. It is important that you fully understand what your goals are before setting goals with your partner. What do you want?
Take the time to write out a list of everything you want in a relationship. After you have completed the list, ask yourself why these goals are so important to you at this point in your life. You must understand why you are setting these goals and then decide if you are setting them for the right reasons. Your partner should have his or her own list as well.
Once you and your mate have figured out what your goals are you can share them with each other. Listen carefully to what your partner has to say so that you will know exactly what he or she wants from your relationship. Don’t be discouraged if you have some differences in your goals for the relationship. It doesn’t necessarily mean that you’re not meant to be together. It does mean that you will have to stay open in your communication so that you can always keep track of where your relationship is going. You will have to learn to compromise on your differences in a way that is fair for you both.
While it is important to understand your partner’s goals, it is even more important to remember what you want from the relationship. Never lower the expectations you have for a relationship just to please your mate. You’ll be selling yourself short. Talk to him or her often about where they think your relationship is going. People’s needs and wants change all the time so you may have to readjust some of your goals from time to time. Make sure that you either talk about your new goals or write them down so that you are both clear about them.
Relationship Goal Setting Do’s and Don’ts
- Do show support in all of the tings your partner tries to do and express your opinions instead of holding them inside.
- Do keep the lines of communication open and active on a daily basis.
- Do express your concerns regarding intimacy.
- Do help your significant other grow and progress in life.
- Don’t hide your feelings of dissatisfaction- the buildup will only worsen, which can lead to multiple fights and unhappy times in the future.
- Don’t let the fun fizzle out of your relationship.
- Don’t smother your partner and always assess the dependency each of you hold on one another.